It begins with a radical departure from everything we’ve been taught. Many of us have heard of the popular psychological model of stimulus-response. The dog barks, I get scared. My friend compliments me, I feel happy. This model has helped spawn a culture where we see our emotions and experiences as being caused by people and events around us. As a result, we often try to change our circumstances and the people around us so that we can feel good or, at least, not feel bad.
“This approach leaves most of us feeling like victims. We believe that, if we could just get our loved ones to treat us right, or our finances to increase, or the roads to be traffic-free, we would feel better. But there’s always something else. Even without major life events such as divorce, bankruptcy, illness or loss of a loved one, many of us experience deep distress and discomfort.
[At Clarity we have found there to be a third component to emotions: BELIEFS]. Every stimulus that elicits a response from us is first filtered and processed by one or more beliefs. As our beliefs change, so do our responses and experiences. This simple shift changes everything in our lives, moving us from the passenger’s seat into the driver’s seat.
For instance, two parents watching their daughter getting married can have different experiences — one is happy and the other is distressed. How do we explain 2 people witnessing the same event (the same stimulus) having diametrically opposed responses? Simple — each one holds different beliefs that filter their experience of the wedding. One sees it as wonderful — believing that their daughter will be happy and the family will grow. The other sees it as terrible — believing they are losing their daughter and that they will be lonely without her. This simple illustration is a microcosm of the myriad ways our beliefs determine every response, from joy to anger, from kissing to shouting.
The good news is: our beliefs are changeable. Our experience with thousands of people from across the globe has shown us that, when people use the [solutions and tools on Clarity], they are able to uncover the beliefs fueling their responses and the underlying reasons for their beliefs. Moreover, they are able to change the beliefs that may be generating unhappiness, dysfunctional relationships or ineffective behaviors.
Real world examples of this philosophy at play are here.
Not only have we validated this understanding of emotion ourselves, but it’s also backed by CBT research, Stoic philosophy, and Biblical doctrine. Additionally, this understanding of emotion helps explain the root cause of anxiety.
Majority of the quotes lot text above is from a man named Barry Neil Kaufman and a CBT revolutionary named Bruce Di Marsico. Barry was a student of Bruce.
Most of the quoted text is taken from here.
Leave a Reply